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From FEAR to FREEDOM
Nine Stepping Stones
Guiding Individuals and Organizations

 

Lynda Klau, Ph.D.
August 2015

 
Table of Contents:
Part One
Self-Assessment
From Fear to Freedom
Our History
Neuroscience supports Freedom
Nine Stepping Stones
Intention
Part Two
Wholeness
Awareness
Silence and Solitude
Love and Self-Care
Vulnerability
Part Three
Real Conversations
Community and Collaboration
Surrender to the Unknown
I Know this Journey

 “You must learn one thing. The world was made to be free in.” -David Whyte

Fear hides behind many faces. From Fear to Freedom is a phrase we intuitively resonate with; it offers hope. It’s what we want.  But, so many of us, both individually and collectively, aren’t aware of just how much fear is limiting our lives and our work.  Even when we do realize it, we don't know how to journey from Fear to Freedom.
 
Are you aware of how and where fear inhabits your life? Have you had days where everything has seemed to go right?  Do you know why and how to recreate them? To journey from Fear to Freedom, we have to first find where we are on the Fear to Freedom spectrum. Here is a short self-assessment. Imagine a Fear to Freedom Speedometer like the one in your car. Fear is at 1 and Freedom is 100.
 
 1: The Fear-Based End:
 
How many of these statements are true for you, personally and/or professionally?

·   I am afraid to take risks.

·   I judge others and myself.

·   I am afraid to have the honest conversations I need to have.

·   I feel small and limited in what I can do in my life and for the world.

·   I believe that being in control makes me safe.

·   I busy myself with small tasks to avoid, and procrastinate being creative.

·   I am afraid to be the leader I know I could be.

·   I am afraid to take my business to the next step.

·   I am afraid of public speaking which I need to do to bring my work to the next level

·    I want to leave mycompany, school or organization but I am afraid to so I stay

·   I avoid.  I cut myself off from uncomfortable thoughts, feelings and actions.

If you answer yes to two or more of the above statements then know that Fear significantly limits your aliveness, creativity and full potential.

 100: The Freedom-Based End:
 
How many of these statements are true for you, personally and/or professionally?

·   I don’t judge others or myself; I feel compassion and empathy.

·   I love others and myself unconditionally.

·   I dare greatly and win or lose I am living my full potential.

·   I spend time in silence to make space to receive inspirations, revelations, and intuitions.

·   I follow my intuition.

·   I see possibilities and opportunities.

·   I can live in the unknown.

·   I take risks and know I’m a success because I have failed over and over again.

·   I use every life experience as an opportunity to learn and grow.

·   I have openhearted relationships with friends, family and co-workers.

If you answer yes to two or more of the above statements then you’ve tasted freedom and probably want more.

From Fear to Freedom
…Is not about fixing yourself. It is about discovering a new way of being. It’s about becoming conscious of all aspects of yourself: your beliefs, feelings bodily sensations, and actions or inactions and your unconditional, ever-present wisdom, From Fear to Freedom is a journey that will transform you. It is not necessarily about fear disappearing but rather about discovering your whole self and a new way to respond to life, moment by moment.

Our History   
Historically, a fear-based way of living has served human survival, both individually and as a species. We need to honor this.  Our fear and survival needs have brought us to where we are now.  
Today, however, our fear, fight, flight or freeze reactions often limit us and make us sick instead of ensuring our survival. While a fear based way of being is in our collective unconscious and even in our early developmental history we need to both honor and evolve beyond our fear-responses.  The world has changed; our brains have evolved. 
 
It’s very touching what is possible. I am not a Pollyanna, but I am a dreamer. I do believe a new world is coming. Can come. And it needs all of us.

Neuroscience supports Freedom
Over the last 15 years, neuroscience has been demonstrating the plasticity of our brains. Science is validating that we don’t have to be limited by our earliest and/or collective experiences. Our brains can keep learning, healing and growing throughout our lives. That is enormous!
 
Secondly, we have an increasingly developed neocortex. This is a part of the brain that has the capacity to stop immediate and impulsive reactions, to reflect and strategize.  Increasingly this facilitates our creativity and our freedom.  We have choice in our thoughts, feelings and actions.  We see opportunities and possibilities. We have insights and inspirations. That is enormous also!   
 
Neuroscience research also supports that we are hard wired to be social beings.
Neurobiologically speaking, people need people.  We need close mutual bonds and relationships not only when we are young but throughout our lives. We can learn how to work together, truly listen to one another, speak truthfully, resolve conflicts, and repair relationships.   Community, collaboration and our global world are calling to us.
 
You say you want to be Free and develop a Freedom Based Way of Being.  It requires doing some work.  Are you willing to claim your Freedom and all that comes with it?

“The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary.” –Vidal Sassoon

 Nine Stepping Stones

Here are Nine Stepping Stones to Journey From FEAR to FREEDOM.  They include my sense of what each stone offers, practical tools, and inspirational quotes.  Don’t just read Your Free Report.  Use it. Let it work on you.  The Stepping Stones are not a set of bullet points for you to follow. Out of all of my experiences they are my best suggestions for you on your journey to Freedom.
 
Step on the stones sequentially or dance from one to another as they call to you. Start as small as you need to, to insure your success and your staying power. 

Intention
Intention IS the journey.

·   Believe in the power of your imagination, inspiration and intuition

·   Using the power of your mind set your long-range intention as well as your intention for each day.

·   Be clear about what results you want and why you want them.  You don’t have to know the “how.”

·   Say positive affirmations to yourself like: “All is well.”

“I learned at least this . . .That if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.” -Henry David Thoreau
 
A Beautiful Question: Do you believe in your power of imagination?  Einstein did!


"The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant.  We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift." –Einstein


 Wholeness
From an integration of Eastern and Western approaches to psychology you are whole when you are consciously connected to your Unconditioned Self and aware of your Conditioned Self.  They are different. It is not uncommon to lose your conscious connection with the Unconditioned. 
 
What is the
Unconditioned Self?  It is formless energy. It is our inborn, inherent and unlearned wisdom The stronger your conscious connection to the Unconditioned Self: the more you can receive inspirations, intuitions and revelations, the more you can see possibilities and opportunities and everything is a gift to learn from.   This is your True Self that helps you know your intrinsic goodness and that you live in a safe and supportive universe, despite the reality of all that is going on in the world.  It has been called by many names: Essence, Being, Higher Self, The Teacher Within, The Invisible, the Mystery and more. It is an ever-present, limitless container that holds everything without judgment, but rather with compassion.  Living with a strong conscious connection to your Unconditioned Self is transformative. 


Your Conditioned Self is who you think you are. It is your personal self. It is your learned self, your “I.”  From this perspective my identity is “I am Lynda.” You live in a body, have a mind, and play many roles.  It is common to believe that what you have learned about yourself and the world is “the truth” and “reality.” Typically, it is what you have felt, thought, the decisions you have made from the earlier experiences in your life no less what you inherited from your collective human experience. These experiences and what you did to survive inform your view of yourself and the world.  When you are lucky you were loved and seen clearly enough by your mother and father or caretaker, you know who you are.  You are “good enough,” self-confident, you trust the world. Many of us, however, develop views of ourselves and the world that have us believing otherwise i.e. that we are not “good enough” or “good” and the world is dangerous. 
 
The more your are grounded in your Unconditioned Self, the more it will hold the learned beliefs, feelings, bodily sensations, and automatic habits of your conditioned self, consciously and with compassion, and as well reveal your insights, wisdom and the present moment. The more this happens, the more you open the door to stop identifying with your learned fears and all that keeps you small.  Increasingly, you come into the moment and a much larger world.  This is a profound paradigm shift, that is, a radical shift in definition of who you are and your view the world. Our wholeness and this paradigm shift create the foundation for the free you and the new human.

·             Wholeness is the map.

·             Observe, without judgment, where do you hang out most of the time?  Your conditioned, learned, inherited self? the Unconditioned Self? Both?

  “My inheritance was particular, specifically limited and limiting, my birthright was vast, connecting me to all that lives, and to everyone, forever. But one cannot claim the birthright without accepting the inheritance.”                                                                                                                                       -James Baldwin
 
A leading approach in neuroscience, Interpersonal Neurobiology (IPNB), offers a related view of wholeness.  It is a slightly different map. It speaks of the foundational triad of the mind, brain (which includes the embodied nervous system, the body) and relationships. To be whole, you need
to bring mindful awareness (to be discussed below) to all parts of yourself, differentiate them and then link them together into an integrated whole.  
 
Wholeness is systemic:  the mind can change the structure and function of the brain, relationships can change the brain, the mind can change relationships and so on.   In other words each aspect of the triad can affect and be affected by the whole.  Integration is wholeness.

“Inspire to rewire.” - Dr. Dan Siegel

Here are some questions for you: 

Observe, without judgment, where you live in this system.  In your mind? Or is it your brain?  What is the difference?  How are your relationships?  What do relationships have to do with your wholeness? 


Awareness
Being mindfully aware or conscious is essential to your freedom.  Even though there is no order to the stepping stones this is the first step.  The more you commit to practicing being aware and awake to each thought, feeling bodily sensation, and then let it go, you are developing a new place to stand where you can observe without judgment. Being mindfully aware, conscious, a perspective called by many names: the conductor, the witnessing presence, the observer, the scientific. Now you have perspective, some distance, and you are more objective. 

·   You can let go you come increasingly into the present moment.

·   Develop Your Mindful Awareness: You can practice meditation, yoga, Tai Chi, or Chi Chung. Even just one minute a day will help you feel more present in yourself and the world.

·   You may want to mindfully weed your garden or wash the dishes. Practice being the watcher of your mind. You let your thoughts, feelings, and sensations come and go. 

·   As you are watching your thoughts come and go, imagine that is like sitting in the train station watching trains come and go.

·   Laughing Meditation: Stand facing a partner or in front of a mirror and start laughing artificially. This will trigger a real laugh. You can’t laugh and be afraid at the same time. Laughing relaxes your nervous system and muscles.

·   Perhaps you have been living from avoidance.  Avoidance of all the thoughts, feelings, body sensations, and actions you don’t want to or are afraid to experience.  It might be your grief or pain.  It might be facing death, your own and others. It might be being an adult. It might be fear of love. People are different, what we want to avoid will differ.  What you avoid doesn’t go away. It unconsciously effects how you are in the moment. What you avoid you carry in your body. 


“Avoidance works but awareness works better and is in the direction of evolution.”

                                                                                                                   -Marilyn Ferguson 
 
Silence and Solitude 
Although spending time with yourself in silence and solitude not easy for most of us, silence and solitude open the door to your most creative wisdom and inspirations as well as your deepest shadows and agonies. And we want to come to a place where we open the door to embrace everything.  Acknowledge the challenge.  Start small!  The more you get a taste of your Unconditioned Self holding you and those difficult feelings, thoughts, habits, while also downloading revelations and inspirations, you will want to nurture your conscious connection to the Unconditioned Self and your wholeness.   

·             Go at your pace. 

·             Spend time doing No-Thing. No to-do list!  

·             Spend time in nature.

·             Expect intuitions, revelations and inspirations.

·             Expect your unfinished business to emerge.

·             Know yourself as a limitless container that can hold all of who you are.


Love and Self-Care
You know you deserve love.  You may either feel deeply loved and seen from your early mothering, fathering, caretaking experiences or not so.  Now you are an adult.  You may even have children of your own.  As an adult you can learn how to re-parent yourself so you feel seen and heard, protected and safe. You have a second chance.  You can come to love yourself and others, to love and be loved without conditions. You know you also deserve to live the life you imagine.  When we love someone or something we want to protect it and take good care of it.  Self-care from love is very different from self-care from should, self-hate, fears. 

Practice the art and science of self-care from love.  Spend time doing what you love.  Consider exploring and experimenting with writing, journaling, dancing, singing, making art, designing, decorating, hiking, cooking, and making music.

·   The more you listen to yourself or are in a relationship where you are seen and heard with compassion you can experience being loved.

·   Play for one hour a day. Play is doing something for fun. It could be doing something with no goal; it could be doing something with a goal. Discover what play is for you. For me I love giving myself extra time to discover new beauty, meet a stranger, and discover a store I’ve never been in. 

·   Sleep deeply for eight hours each night.

·   Stop rushing. Deepak Chopra says, “Walk slowly, live longer.”

·   Unplug from all things digital.  Often, it is in the unplugged time that true creative solutions occur. 

·   Take breaks: Even short ones.   Lying down in bed for 15 minutes can make a profound difference.  Some of our more innovative companies have created rooms for resting, napping, meditating. Very wise.

·    Take vacations and days off. 

 “Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray.” -Rumi

Vulnerability
Being vulnerable means being open and transparent. In contrast to what most of us have be taught and believe being vulnerable is the most powerful place to live from. Many of us have been taught that we are most powerful when we are closed off to protect ourselves from life’s hurts, pains and fears. But then, we are also closed off to the sweetness of life, the beauty of the sky, someone’s kindness, the reality of the present moment. The more you allow yourself to open to your feelings, thoughts and body sensations the more you will grow your heart and deeply connect with yourself and others.

·   If something happens that has a strong effect on you, stop, look and listen. Go inside yourself and see what you are feeling or the story you are telling yourself. Be curious and kind to yourself.  Give yourself space to feel deeply with an open heart. This is healing, growing and empowering.  Follow your own rhythm.

·   Ask for help.  Expect to get it. People want to give. You will receive it most of the time and when you don’t it’s just fine.

·   Ask for visible and invisible help.  Invisible help is help from the Unconditioned Self—your insights, inspirations, wisdom.

·   Repeat Dick Olney’s affirmation:  “I give thanks for help unknown already on the way.  

Real Conversations
When we are scared we don’t know how to talk to each other. We turn to blame, oversimplify things, take polarized positions and we don’t accept our differences.  Real conversations are vital. We are social beings. We need connection. Real conversations are the heart and soul of flourishing relationships.

There is a profound difference between reactive and superficial conversations that go nowhere and conversations that are heart-to-heart. Heart-to-heart conversations change us. We see and hear and are in turn seen and heard. Real conversations lead to creative possibilities. Stop false conversations and create open dialogues. 

·   Be with the other eye to eye in the present moment.

·   Focus on listening with your heart and your body, not only with your head.

·   Don’t rush ahead and think about what your response is going to be. Stay in the moment being with what the person is sharing.

·   Practice creating a safe environment to share your authentic truths. What are the ground rules that are needed?

·   Expect that real conversations lead to real results.

·    Watch your leadership skills expand.

Community and Collaboration

You, like many, long to belong. The more you come into yourself, the more you can ask for help, give help, and care for the larger whole. You can support your fellow humans in joys, sorrows and passions. Coming together and collaborating from openness brings results that soar. The whole is more than the sum of the parts. You can practice collaborating in such a way that your rational mind doesn’t run the show and destroy the potential of true collaboration. 

·   Create your community or join a community.

·   Appreciate that each person lends a perspective that contributes.

·   Experiment collaborating and experience what it brings up for you.

·   Realize that cooperation and mutual support are energizing, feel good and yield new possibilities.

Surrender to the Unknown
A part of our biology wants predictability. But life is about change and we don’t have guarantees. What you do have is yourself, your trust, and your ability to be awake and aware in the reality of the moment.  Know what buttons are getting pushed from your past. You have your intention and attention and from this foundation you can live and thrive in the unknown. You can let go of trying to feel safe by trying to control. Trying to be in control to be safe is an illusion. You can learn to trust, let go, and live in the flow. You can act with an open palm instead of a fist. 

Take one step at a time.

·              Practice letting go of your need to know and your need to control

·              Walk down new street, don’t use a GPS when driving.

·              Learn Freedom Breath and Voice Work and discover the freedom of Letting go in body and mind.

·              Become Breath Aware: Are you breathing or not? When you don’t breathe or have shallow breathing, you cut yourself off from your feelings, your body, your spirit and each other. 

·              Trust you can be safe in the unknown when you are grounded in the reality of who you are and in the present moment.

·              Have a vision and intention of where you are going.

I know this journey.
When I was 28, I had a life changing experience that turned my conventionally successful life around.  I walked into a whole new world- a world I had been unknowingly searching for all of my life. My heart opened and connected me to my Unconditioned Self.  I felt vulnerable, loving and connected to everyone.  I came into the present moment and could clearly see what was without my personal projections clouding the picture.  This new way of being only lasted a little while.  Why?  Because I had deep neural tracks and psychological automatic reactions that little by little overcame the new flash of insight and opening. 

However, once I knew this world existed it became my guiding vision pulling me forward and never to be forgotten. What a gift! I studied and trained in many body, mind and spirit approaches to return to this new way of living: loving, non-judging, present in the moment, open, vulnerable and relational. All along I have passed on what I was learning on my journey to students and clients as I continued to travel and learn. I am here to help you evolve yourself into a new human and to support us in collectively creating a new earth. I predominantly work with people and businesses who want to evolve themselves and who know that doing so will make a profound difference in their lives and in the world. These are the people who are who the leaders are for co-creating One World in love, peace and harmony. My work and my life today have always been a childhood dream of mine even if it wasn’t always conscious or something I could express in words. I had to evolve myself first so that I could guide others.  Evolution keeps on happening. It’s an unending journey but I’ve evolved enough to now be a significant player in helping those who are called to evolve themselves. This includes individuals personally committed to their own evolution and businesses and organizations that want to increase innovation, creativity and a new kind of organizational development   I work with people who are willing to do the work.

Feel free to share my From Fear to Freedom Report with others.  If you do please include © Copyright 2015, Lynda Klau, Ph.D.

On my website, I offer many services to support you, personally and professionally, in journeying from fear to freedom.

Become part of our Fear to Freedom Community. Let me know what you would really like to see in our community.  How would you like to be supported on your journey?  What support can you offer?  Together let’s create a community that fulfills our needs. Talk to me.

Contact me directly or through my contact page with your comments, suggestions, and inquiries
 
to your freedom, a new you and a new earth,

 
Lynda   

Lynda Klau, Ph.D
Life Unlimited: The Center for Human Possibility
guiding individuals and organizations from fear to freedom
psychologist, coach, speaker
Website:
drlyndaklau.com 
Office:  +1.212.595.7373
Email:  Lynda@DrLyndaKlau.com


“Our past is not our potential. . . One by one, we can re-choose- to awaken. To leave the prison of our conditioning, to love, to turn homeward. To conspire with and for each other.”- Marilyn Ferguson

© August 2015by Lynda Klau Ph.D.